Skeletons in the closet

There are Skeletons in the closet
          They are not mine

There are Skeletons in the closet
          Polluting time
                    Filling darkness
                    Birthing a Mind
                              That seeks to destroy the Soul


So many Skeletons lay dead in the walls
Hidden beneath some floors
No
These are not ours
          Any longer
Carry them no more

Remove the Key from your pocket
Unlock the Door
These bones belong to an ocean
          In the Past
         
          Let them wash ashore

          Clean
                    By Earth's bosom
                    By the salt of our Tears
          Offer them to the heavens
          Along with the years
                              Of loathing
                              Of hiding
                              Of hurting

It is time to Be


Warriors of Love...may your struggles be little, your Joy be great and may your Light shine beyond our galaxy to create another Sun.  Be kind to yourself and others, Happy New Year to Heartists around the globe.

Love with each thump of your Heart
We have only one
It is enough to change the rhythm of our Universe


I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

A New Time...

Many moons have passed since Ocean Hawk saved my life

 

She had followed me from camp

As I made my way by morning’s blue cloak
Attempting my journey
Alone

She has remained with me since

Quiet often

She moved through the mundane with purpose and private enjoyment

            A usual manner

Even smiling at her own recollections as we walked

                        Rarely making eye contact

I hardly spoke

She let me be as I was

Scornful and lonely

A fool 

Until one day

Watching from a distance

Ocean Hawk caught sight of my face as I readied my garments
My brows furrowed in thought
I had been noting a change
An inflammation of sorts around the areola of one of my breasts
It had, over seasons, grown agitated, darker

She walked over

Greeted me with confident eyes

            ‘What do you want?’ I was curt

It was more of a statement than a question

I hoped it would intimidate her
If she noticed my tone, she chose to ignore it

‘What’s with the look on your face?’ She asked 

            ‘I was born this way’ as a matter of fact 

‘I’m serious, what’s goin’ on?’ She chided

Silence

I pulled tight the strings of my bodice

‘Let me look.’

            ‘No’ I flatly replied and hurried myself

She reached inward

Took hold of my wrists
Tore them roughly from my chest

Her stern eyes said everything

She spoke anyway

‘I’m looking whether you like it or not. Try anything and I won’t be so nice.’

She gently drew down the soft fabric and scrutinized

It would’ve been then

The moment when I should’ve struck her against her face
The moment when I should’ve brought my elbow to her temple
But there was no time
No time to do anything before I heard her expel beneath her breath

'Hmm’ Quick, neutral, unrevealing

I shoved her to the ground

Guess she was distracted

Her eyes spat profanities my way

             I didn’t care

            Could only say one thing in that moment

                        ‘For the record, do that again and I’ll kill you.’

She smirked

It turned into a real smile as she rose to her feet

We gathered our things and resumed our travel

‘You need to see someone about that.’ She said 

            ‘I need nothing from you or anyone.’

                                    How great the fool was I?

‘You don’t know this area. You’ll be lost before you realize you’re lost.  Besides, fools die all the time.  Don’t you want to be one that lives?  You’re no spring chick anymore you know.’

             Bitch

            She saw through to my vanity

‘I know someone.  That’s where we’re going.’

I refrained from further objection

The truth being; I was concerned

She continued

‘Oh and for the record…shove me again and I’ll kill you.’
Her face drew into a broad smile
Damn it was authentic

                        Beckoning me each time

                        Moving me in ways not yet understood

I followed

            As I had been since my return from the desert

 

I remain, ever thoughtful of Heartists here, across the Globe

Your struggles
Your enduring nature
Your mindful way
           Are Beautiful
           Beyond tribulation
           Beyond pain
           Beyond all thoughts found outside ourselves forcing an outcome within us

I am humbled, honoured by your Strength
I Thank You

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

The Long Night

Life, I’ve found
Can change profusely
                With a tender touch

                Or sternness of Heart

I  waited

I watched as this warrior

Raised her sword, a wakizashi, I now saw
In clear aim of my neck

                                My spine

I wondered

                If I move, will she wait for a clear stroke or

                Will she behead me anyway?

 With every second her ego and arrogance commanded an audience

                My strength grew                          
                As if she heard my thoughts
                She hummed
                                    'Ah, ah, ah…don't get any grand ideas - you’re not going anywhere.’

She moved toward me

Growled
                ‘This is for my mother.’

Snapping the sword high

She let it fall in graceful silence
                I watched

                                Awestruck by its shine

                As it came to an abrupt end
                Against another's sword

A gentle, unassuming voice emerged as their weapons held in stalemate

‘Aries, I won’t let you do this.’

Aries – that’s it.

Ochre eyes

I swore I’d never forget
         I haven’t                                                                                                                             
These ochre eyes, however, are empty
They don’t belong to the woman who had been my love seasons and seasons past

Aries’ strength and will wavered at the stranger’s defense

‘Get out of my way Ocean Hawk, this isn’t your fight.’

‘No Aries, this is no fight at all.  This is murder.  You will yourself less of a warrior for pride in revenge? 
I won’t let you kill her.’

Aries held Ocean Hawk’s stare

Turned to me and promised
                ‘This isn’t over.’

She took several steps in retreat

                            

There, by the smoke of the fire
Aries transformed seamlessly into the Owl who had been my company in the desert     
              And flew away

The stranger came near               
She was young
                Younger than me

Stood there

Stretched her hand in peace

                'My name is Ocean Hawk.  I'd like to take a look at your eyes.'

                 Her voice, unlike mine, was gentle

'I don’t care who you are.  Step back.' I warned. 

Enraged

I was suddenly and completely filled with rage

She ignored me

Crouched down
Took her hands to my face
                 Tilted my head to her liking

                 So that it caught light off the fire

'You'll be okay.' She said as she rose to her feet. 
Her voice was quiet yet firm as she threw me a fine woolen blanket. 
'Drink some water.  Get some rest.  I don't care what you do after that.' 

She moved several feet away

Unrolled a similar blanket
With her back facing me she spoke

'If you leave in the night, Aries will kill you.  I suggest you stay.' 


to be continued...

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

A Return

I had followed the woman in the hooded cloak
The warrior who had led me with a smile
Clothed my nakedness

After a day’s journey

I had yet to see her face

At nightfall we reached a camp

Small
Desolate

But for another

Passively observing our entry

My guide went directly for a ladle

Scooped the contents of a pot
           Hovering over the fire
Filled a wooden cup

              Added cool water

‘Tea’

She offered
Reminding
‘We journeyed too long without food or drink.’

I took the cup, warm in my hands, and drank

The amber liquid was bitter
I spat it out

The woman’s laugh echoed

‘Worry not child
It only tastes bitter for a moment’

The tone of her voice
Turned my stomach

She watched curiously

For what reason I knew not

Until the pain came

I doubled-over

Looked to her
With a grimace

When our eyes met

She raised her arms
Pulled back her hood

                Revealing thick fair hair

                Framing dark ochre eyes

She strolled slowly

Intentionally
                Leisurely
By the fire

“You know…I’ve been watching you.’’

Her voice was a soft melodic coo

With the tilt of her head she smiled a magnetic smile

Her face, now clear in the golden light

Was familiar

Scorn flew freely from my tight throat

“Who are you?” I spat

The cramps

Which had lessened
Were debilitating still
My exertion had tasked what little breath I had
I lost balance and tipped to the ground

                                It’s always so cold and damp near the water

                Small stones pierced my face

                                Clung to the cold sweat now present

               

                I pulled myself to rest against a makeshift wall

                A heavy streak of liquid slid from my forehead

                Blazed past my lips to land on my chest

                                What has this bitch given me?

“Tsk, Tsk, Tsk…

You don’t remember me?  Ahh, it’s just as well, it’s all the same – in the end.”
Her full lips spread across her face igniting her eyes
She beamed arrogantly
 
Unfastening her cloak

She let it fall to the earth

Tightened her thick leather vest

                Paid me no mind as she unsheathed her sword

                                Surveyed its beauty

                                          It was fine in point and design

                                          Polished for death

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

Vein

I feel my heart
Beat
Through the tips of my fingers

I see the cells within my eyes
Move in time with each
Thump

Thump Thump

They resemble kidney beans 

I feel the blood pull
Draw
Pull
Draw

                In my neck

                My chest

I am Alive 

 

I feel my Love

Seep
Through the vein of my Being

I see a Light within my eyes
A reflection of Fire
Move in time with each
Thump

                Thump Thump

                It resembles the galaxy

I feel the blood pull
Draw
Pull
Draw

                In my Sex

                My chest

I am Alive


Always
Alive

In You

In honour of all Heartists, Warriors of Love; every one of us who battle self doubt, navigate the battlefield of the ego and challenge our own desire to flee in the midst of fear or defeat.  We stand, we fight, we walk and we surrender all in perfect time.  We are Alive, you and I, here together. 

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

a step to Freedom

Hell
The death of the Will to Yell
Heaven
The birth of the Will to Love

 

Scraping feet

Scarred with burns
A gift from the desert
When my shoes wore thin
                From grinding against sands of the past

The Owl lives

In the fruitful land, just there within my sight, a land named Possibility
It waits beyond this border
This cage

It inched slowly away night by night

To forests lush with Life
Until I could no longer hear its wings
                My comfort
                Once upon a time

It left me here in contemplation

Fear
Loneliness
Here at the threshold where Eros crossed
So many moons ago
So many lives since

Here at this fine line where death greets Freedom

Starvation battles Bliss
I stand naked from lack of care
                And the wind’s cruel love

With feet swollen

Sore

I take a step
Then two
Then three
                Then more

The moist Earth soothes all that has burned me

                All that has torn away
                At the Warrior I am
                The Mystic - now found
                The Heartist - come alive

There

Yes, there in the distance
                You stand
                Holding open a dark cloak the length of you

When I arrive

                Your eyes penetrate
                I turn mine to the ground
                                Notice your feet bound in leather
                                Your legs, smooth, powerful and strong
                                          You are a Warrior too
                Am I unworthy of your stare?
                                Unworthy of your Care?

Perhaps

Yet You move

With grace

To wrap me tenderly
                 Smile

This land is new to me

                Your face...a quiet promise of Trust

                I will follow

                              

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

lions - a short moral story

I’ve learned that lions only give a shit at feeding time
It’s always about them

So many lions came
So many left
They were all the same…
                                                       They were lions
What did I expect?

It's my fault for expecting them to be stallions

Or some other kinder
Warmer
Creature

Willing to trade their Love for Love

It's my fault for ignoring the obvious

You see

No matter how friendly
Warm
Or kind
The horse

                It is vegetarian afterall...

                                                    And lions are not

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

a love story

‘stay away’

                She said

                Her sword steady
                If not heavy
                For her petite frame
                                Pointed at me
                                                Threatening
                                                I’d say
                                                If I were to gauge her intent
- Huh -
My mind snickered 

            I scoffed silently

Doing all I could

To thin the rage

Growing

Shadowing me

Our eyes locked

                In fear?
                Hate?
                I couldn’t quite tell which

                                It was

                                Or were

                                Or is

Still

She was beautiful
                Aiming her gleaming weapon
                Poised a few feet away
             Her eyes bright

                 Likely

 With the anticipation

                 Of my death
                  
Did she really want to do battle out here?
                There is no place to retreat
                Forget
                That she and I meet
                             Here

                             On either side of this line

                Forget

                That she and I met

                             Here

                             Once upon a time

                           

                      With smiles

Did she really think she could win?

                Her only path

                Led to the sea

                Or a high stone wall but a yard or two behind her

             

I held her gaze

My breath laboured

                Worked diligently to keep my ego out of battle

                Toiled earnestly to dilute my saturating anger

             

‘stay away’

                She banished
                Louder this time

It was enough

Enough to spur my ire

I swung my blade across hers

This caught her by surprise

                For some reason

Her gaze broke mine

Forcefully I pulled her into me

                Quickly drove her back

                Blades still fastened

I threw my weight
Behind my sword
Crushed her in retreat

Several feet

                                Against the stone wall

Incensed

I didn’t care how wild my eyes were
As they met her stunned look
I exerted all I could

                Kept her pinned

                Against the wall

                                Against me

                

Heaving to steady my breath

‘You-make-me…so…angry’

                I forced out severely
             
‘Why?’
She asked, quick with disdain
                Finding courage in her challenge

With gritted teeth

‘Probably…’       
                                I reclaimed my weight
                                Loosed my grip
     
‘…Because I’m in love with you.’

                                - Huh -

                                I sneered
                                At myself
                                Disgusted
                                                By the Love I felt for her

                                                When she so clearly

                                                                Despised me

                                                                Forged a line out of her hate

                                                                Or hurt

                                                                I couldn’t quite tell which it was

                                                                Or were

                                                                Or is

I straightened

Watched her face

  Still beautiful

  Despite my admission

                               

We held silent
A mirror image
Refraction  

                Shards of glass

                Catching sun in the sand

                                Slicing gently through bare feet

Weapon in hand

I felt its burden

Slowly dropped its point

To the ground

Moments passed

Without a sound

She flung her blade into the air

                                Held my stare

Tore it down
Before my chest

Into herself

She fell to her knees

Lost balance
Tipped forward

Hung on her steel

Panting

My eyes on hers

Gazed

In horror

We held silent

A mirror image
Refraction

The glint of her blade

                Catching sun in the sky

                                Slicing gently through the air

…

Timelessness

…

I gasped suddenly

Brutally found myself back in my body

…

The glint of her blade

                Catching sun in the sky

                                Slicing gently through the air

                                …

I moved in

Thrust my sword against hers

                She fell back

    I grasped her wrist

                She dropped her blade
                Formed a fist
                                Beat me until she tired

I sat atop her

Grateful she was alive
Held her face in my hands
Caught her eyes

                Dark with tears

                She was crying

                                Pulling at my wrists

                                Struggling to be free

                                From me

Suddenly

I felt her pain

Shame

Here I was
                                This monster
                                She feared
                                Or hated
                                I couldn’t tell which it was
                                Or were
                                Or is

I dropped my hands
Began sobbing

It shook me off her

Drained away all my ugliness

Drained away the disfigurement of my feelings for her

Drained away in me, all that frightened her

I pulled myself up                          

Still weeping

I turned

Staggered away

From hate                         

From Love

In celebration of Passion, the hope-for, and the Joy found in Happy Endings

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist