What I've learned

What I knew Before I went into it

3 times is a pattern

people evolve

actions speak louder than words

I believe in chances

What I've learned from it

3 times is definitely a pattern - no exception

when people say:

     I'm different now

     That wasn't me

     That's not who I am anymore

     Stop being negative

     I promise we'll go on vacation

     We'll have our own thing next year

     There's time

     Stop comparing yourself

     We'll get through

it is not Them who is speaking

it is the Shadow aspects of the Sub-Personality, the Addict, the Sabateur

They're the ones keeping the Pattern going 
creating chaos, confusion

pulling people in

pushing them away

saying I love you

then saying I don't know if I do

saying I want this

then saying I don't know anymore

I've learned that no one can fight the Sub-Personality, the Addict and the Sabateur alone

Their entire existence, like the Ego, is about Self Preservation

Keeping you isolated from the Truth, pretending they are the Truth
creating Fear of some thing or fear of loss 

is the only way they can survive 

and while they operate alone, I've learned they are intimately One

They will fuck up every good thing in your life

Every chance 

and

any amount of Love that challenges their existence

          Unconditional Love will lose to them
every time

I've learned that while you're evolving, so is your Pattern if left to play in the park of Avoidance

While you're busy focusing on what you are not and what you want to be

It is focusing on What Is...Itself

I've learned that you see me as You see Me, that you may never see Me as I Am

I've learned to let go

of being Seen

by You

I've learned that for there to be an Us, there can only be U, there is no room for Me

or my feelings 

and I'm sad about that

I've learned that some people can only offer endings, no matter how many beginnings they hand you, it is only endings that they have to give

Actions DO speak louder than words

I've learned that we all want things our own way, and so we miss the value in what we have, which is often exactly what we were looking for

I've learned

that 

chances

run out

and
promises

end

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist