Tuesday 27 December 2011

Winter Witches...and The Other

Snow falls plainly
Though plain it is not

There’s a subtle beauty
                        A silence
                        That reminds me
                        How serene this world can be
                                    How soft
                                    How lovely

The night pairs well with the snow
I can’t help but retract into Self

All my spiritual dreams
Arise as Winter

I recoil into
My sadness
My grief
Discard my skin
           
Unlike my incubating cave with its small fire – warmth
This cave is dark, void of heat and light
In this strange beauty
A Winter dream I had of You earlier this year, visits with me...

I happened by a game of catch when someone threw me the ball
I missed
The ball flew past
I followed its path

The terrain changed with each step
Until
I reached a home
                        Solid
Strong
Made of coloured brick, deep red hues of every kind
                        It was high
Rose to tower alone

Two boys watched me carefully from above
           
I followed their gaze down
                        Ah, yes - their ball lay nearby
                        I wouldn’t go near it
                        It wasn’t the one I was looking for
           
I moved back
Snow crunched underfoot
The scene went grey
It was now wet with Winter

I turned around
You greeted me with a warm smile
‘Need help?’ you asked
                        I suddenly realize
                        This fortress is yours
                        You live here

I noticed the turbulent ocean behind you
As you spoke
                        The shore was near
                        The solid earth beneath led to snowy sands

‘I’m looking for a baseball’ I managed
‘I’ll help you find it’ you responded
Always so helpful, I thought, even here

We began searching…
There it is
I pick it up and return my attention to you

Over your shoulder…someone’s in the distance
                        Near the water
                        Circling
                        Hovering
                                    Watching

                        I can feel her
                                    She doesn’t like me
           
I indicate with my chin
‘I thought you liked blondes’ my smile's a little smug

You glance over your shoulder
‘Oh, she’s alright’ you softly dismiss
           
                        But I could tell

You’re tied to her

The Other…she could be your twin
                        Same height
                        Same frame
                        Same hair
                                    Though it plagued a cruel face
                                    Obscuring her nature
                                                             
                                    Her negativity
                                    Was powerful, I understood - she works to pull you into her
                                                To control you
                                                To keep you                            
      Always to keep you
                       
The Other – comes near
Sneers at me
Doesn’t want me around
She knows
My presence threatens her existence

                        But mostly
                        I felt You
                       

I remember this night
I saw you the very next day

But unlike this spiritual dream where I felt your warm centre
                        Where you allowed me in

You kept me at a distance
                        When I asked for a moment of your time
           
            I watched you turn your back
                        Relieved
                        Thankful
                        For the physical barrier of the cash counter between us


I haven’t dreamt of you since


It might be nice to meet you there again
One day

Without the Other


In Winter’s embrace

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

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