my incubating heart

My incubating heart

Thumps

Gurgles

A secret rhythm

I feel

As it draws blood

One way

Then

The other

            A pulley of sorts

There is technique

To its perfect

Creation

All that

Strives toward the mind

Passes through the heart

Every word

            Served

                        All Love

                                    Deserved

            What voice does it have

                        As it moves in the chest?

                        Its voice is a dance

                                                My hands

                                                Around your waist

                        Its voice is a quickening

                                    Known to destroy

                                    Silence

                                                A song made manifest

                       

                        Yes

It is heard

                                    At times

                                                Through tongues of fire

                                                Sounds

                                                            Always

                                                Of desire

                                                            Willed

                                                            Fulfilled

                                                            Until all is wet

                                                                        And still

In this quiet glow

            This private warmth

           

I think

I heard it say your name

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

it drips

I feel your breath

Warm on my lips

            It drips

A pleasure in the dark

I feel your beauty

            Near

            Can you hear?

           

            How I ache

            How I threaten

                            To break

                            Resolve?

You caress my face

My hand drops

In place

            In search of your fire

You find my lips

            All the while

            It drips

                        Wet

                        With desire

I disappear

Beyond

Fear

            I’m found

            Somewhere inside you

 

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

Thoughts of Rain - common era

I walk the desert

Still

This wound on my arm threatens to swell

Despite my healing abilities

The Owl has kept me company

Strangely

It has remained silent

The scent of water in the air seduces me

            It reminds me of my youth

            Playing in the park after a nights rainfall

           

            I recall the moment when I stood still, felt deep gratitude

            For being given the gift of wet earth

           

I was Free

                        In that one blissful moment

                                    I was Life

Where is the rain?

Every step I take

In this desolate, arid place

I burnish the armour around my Soul

            Neither the sun’s scorching light

Nor the embers of warm Love

                        Dare penetrate its reflection

I thought of Eros today, laying in green pastures

                        Then Aries, scowling at me from afar 

                        And Her...barely a beginning to such a ruined end

                                                ...she loathes me as well

Have I wasted myself?

            Is there such a thing?  Love – a waste?

                        I’m not sure

                        I don’t know anymore

These past few nights

I’ve toyed with the idea…

            …once I cross the desert

            I’ll throw my Power away

                                    Then

I’ll give my body

                                    To the many unworthy

Perhaps this is the lesson I’m to learn 

That Love and Sex are not one but two

That Love is for the weak

That Sex is for the strong

            And I’ve been a fool

                        Believing

They've belonged

                                    To each other

                        

How simple it seemed to me at first

Not to conquer Love

             But be conquered by Her

           

I fear the power of bitterness

The possibility this wound may fester

            And the Ego will finally win

Except for the Owl

            There is none to care if I lose

But I know...
This isn't the end

I’m stronger than the Ego

Stronger than this desert

            This battle

            And this war

I stop

Wipe the sand from my lips

Look up

At the night

And pray

If I stumble in this place

            May it Thunder

May it Tremble

May it Pour

            May the Earth’s wet body

                                    Resurrect me 

                                    Once more                               

           
                        

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

Karma

You were the chosen

Our karmic paths crossed

I took your power

Crucified you

            In some life, clearly

                        Before this

I hurt you

Lied to you

Feigned Love

To win your approval

                       

                        Or so you felt

But you

            You never questioned

            Sought answers

            Heard neither my voice

                        Nor felt the pounding sex

In my heart

You had no time

For my Soul

For my Spirit

            That scraped bloody-raw

                        The bottom of the Ocean

                        In search of your Devotion

                                    In search of your eyes

                                    Long turned away

We are both to blame

If you could see past the debt of a life before

To a Speaking

            Here and now

                        Within us both

            You might understand

           

            That no Love is perfect

                        For what imperfect being

                        Could hold a most perfect Love?

It is a worthy illusion

To intertwine

To bow

            Surrender

To the sublime

            To your vulnerability

            To your Power

                       

To taste

                                    The electric softness

Of your Flower

                        For I understand

                        You

Love

Are the ruler of me

You

Love

Are the only Power

To set me Free

…How lonely it has been on this Shore;

How I long for Freedom
          

Resting in the twilight of this Ocean, I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist