Thoughts of Rain - common era

I walk the desert

Still

This wound on my arm threatens to swell

Despite my healing abilities

The Owl has kept me company

Strangely

It has remained silent

The scent of water in the air seduces me

            It reminds me of my youth

            Playing in the park after a nights rainfall

           

            I recall the moment when I stood still, felt deep gratitude

            For being given the gift of wet earth

           

I was Free

                        In that one blissful moment

                                    I was Life

Where is the rain?

Every step I take

In this desolate, arid place

I burnish the armour around my Soul

            Neither the sun’s scorching light

Nor the embers of warm Love

                        Dare penetrate its reflection

I thought of Eros today, laying in green pastures

                        Then Aries, scowling at me from afar 

                        And Her...barely a beginning to such a ruined end

                                                ...she loathes me as well

Have I wasted myself?

            Is there such a thing?  Love – a waste?

                        I’m not sure

                        I don’t know anymore

These past few nights

I’ve toyed with the idea…

            …once I cross the desert

            I’ll throw my Power away

                                    Then

I’ll give my body

                                    To the many unworthy

Perhaps this is the lesson I’m to learn 

That Love and Sex are not one but two

That Love is for the weak

That Sex is for the strong

            And I’ve been a fool

                        Believing

They've belonged

                                    To each other

                        

How simple it seemed to me at first

Not to conquer Love

             But be conquered by Her

           

I fear the power of bitterness

The possibility this wound may fester

            And the Ego will finally win

Except for the Owl

            There is none to care if I lose

But I know...
This isn't the end

I’m stronger than the Ego

Stronger than this desert

            This battle

            And this war

I stop

Wipe the sand from my lips

Look up

At the night

And pray

If I stumble in this place

            May it Thunder

May it Tremble

May it Pour

            May the Earth’s wet body

                                    Resurrect me 

                                    Once more                               

           
                        

I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist