Thursday 17 March 2016

Two Writers

So many bodies hit the ground
Pale thin slivers, layers of me
or who I was
or who I might be

Dreams lost yet found somewhere
in time
in space
in Life
all at Once

I’ve been shedding
ideas
about this and that
right and wrong
the world is free when these don’t exist
especially my world
people
this one and that one
right or wrong
the world is free when I let you go
especially since you don’t want to be
in my world

I’ve been walking the shore of the ocean
my retreat in battle 
(and where we last fought)
          my retreat near the cliff-face
where I am hidden and alone

I’ve picked up fossils and stones
observed their layers
their sharpness
their smoothness
they are perfect any which way they are
they don’t judge themselves
you see?  they’re just right - at every moment 
                                           because of this
they are eternal

I’ve sat here too, thinking
pondering
creating stories in my mind that never was, or likely will never be...but exist all the same in another reality
dimension, another place 

I’ve concluded
I know we’re different, and apart, and misunderstandings killed us in the ocean
Yet I still feel you

All these theories that we are all One...all these mysteries
Have they come undone
in me?
To reveal indeed, We Are
Have learned; I could never lose you, have never lost you
Will always be
Connected
To your Heart
To your Uncommon Mind
To a Past that was
And a Present that left so fast
                                                I can only pretend in a daydream 
That friendship is still possible
Between us

Sometimes
I recall your writings
     Powerful and eloquent
For one so young
For one who saw only a Monster in me
  
           And then I remember
I slayed you without intent, without meaning
And slayed myself with the mourning of it
But it didn’t end there

And for a time 
I could push you out of my mind
For a time
I could pretend that this was meant to be
But then
I wonder if this is how it will end
This time around
                                               And it bothers me

I’m going to Egypt
The Egyptian Book of the Dead 
Was a book I stopped reading many moons ago
early in my journeying
          I felt so close to Truth
And became frightened of it
I stopped my Spiritual Quest
Went into Business
Focussed on distraction
Instead

I’m going back
In a way
Back to learn the Truth 
That scared me
When I thought nothing could

Perhaps I will lose another sliver of a false self
       Or a false dream
       Or a truth I once believed
Perhaps I will Heal for Everyone
Every hurt that went unseen
                         Even the slaying of your private heart
Your Secret Self
                        By my words
And the slaying of mine - by yours

Perhaps
We will encounter each other somewhere
When we’ve Healed
And I’ll ask you which of your stories
Is your favourite
And I’ll tell you mine
 
And the dead will come alive over a cup of coffee
                     And we'll just be two writers at a table
                          
Ever grateful for the Universal Mind that connects Us all and all Life in every dimension to each other in every moment.


I remain,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist

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