The Letter

This is for when we're apart and things are challenging between us.  I want it to be a reminder of how I feel about you.  I want this to be a reminder to You, about how I feel, about you.

You've probably heard me say these things a thousand times but I'm saying them again.

When I look into Your eyes, a deep Calm comes over me.  It's as though I've touched the Centre of the Universe...my Universe, or me.  When I kiss Your Chest, Your Heart, I feel the depth of the Ocean...or Your Ocean and I feel blessed, lucky to be there.

When You open to me in all Your many ways, your Shyness, your Vulnerability, your forgiveness...your body and Willingness to Surrender to me in these moments, my world Crumbles.  My lonely World of Walls shake and fall, my angry World of Pain, Hurt and Confusion disappear in the Bright Light of You.  My Centre cracks Open and I am vulnerable and Revealed.  All my darkness and Shadow, the depth of my imperfection - faults - all of them show, they all become seen in the Light of Your Vulnerability and Being.

I forget sometimes.  I forget how precious you are when I'm in a moment of Trigger, hurt and sadness.  I forget the rarity of your Brilliant Shine.  The Brilliant Shine that makes my day - Every Day - no matter what is happening between us.

We bring out the Worst in who we are, but it's not a bad thing.  When the worst is revealed to be heard, addressed, it can no longer live as it is.  It must Transform, Become something more beautiful or it dies.  So there becomes room for the Best of us.  We bring out the Best by allowing the Worst to leave and Transform.  All that remains each time we surmount a challenge, is the opportunity to connect deeper and in a more loving way.

I forget sometimes that I Know Joy for the first time in my Life Because of You.  Because of You, my Heart has opened in a way that I had always hoped it could, but wasn't sure that it was possible.

Because of You, I want more.  I want more for me, for You, I want more for US.  I want an US.  Because of You, I realize that I need a Sacred Relationship, that it is the most Valuable thing, goal - Journey - in my Life.  I've only realized this Because of You.

Sometimes, I'm afraid.  Sometimes I become sad or emotional just as I am right this second, that I am unable to follow your Divine Wisdom and timing.  It feels hard, difficult and Unknown, that I don't have the strength to follow your lead, Your Wisdom as you participate in Surrender with Life.  I honour You and am afraid that I can't live up to your inner Wisdom and Strength.  I'm learning to follow your Wisdom and it's challenging for me.  This is the greatest test in Bravery for me - to follow Your Wisdom when I recognize it.

I have a lot of wishes and hopes for Us.  Many private milestones, some of them seemingly small - but all of them are of equal importance to me.

I want us to develop, evolve and truly be integrated equally in each other's life.

For You...I want you to feel Your Power.  The Knowing is not real until You feel it like a Truth, like a Rod, like a force within You, unmistakable and Divine.

I want You to Know, You are not Broken, there is nothing, absolutely nothing to fix about you.  You don't need rescuing.  You have all Power inside You.  To Heal You, Guide You, Love You - because it is You.  We all need Support and Love, the Power You own is Yours, Keep it, choose to keep it so You can be seen, Heard, respected.  If you give it, give it Knowingly, in Love.

When we've made mistakes or are in misunderstanding, when I seem far away, or cold, or distant, Let this remind You of how I feel about You behind all my defences.  Let this remind you of me, of who I am.

Your Baby



I remain,

Lesléy

Hallelujah Heartist