For now it must be

  I
just 
don' t
see
that
  it
could
ever
work
     my Teacher said
     (an Intuit whom I Trust)

of course
she's
right
     if it hasn't worked
     in
     a year and a
     half
it's not going to

the
session
     regression
was
intense
     so much unraveled
     for me
     for you
          through me
   I
could
hardly
breathe
     between the tears
               deep guttural fears
layers
 and
layers
  of
past
 and
present
 of
life
love
and
death
    finally escaping, breaking free

what
was 
left
     ...What
          I
felt
     was
Shame
for loving
you
as
much
as
  I
did

all my wishes
meant-to-be
Fate and grace
will not see
you
     and 
          me
together

what 
is 
troubling
about the whole thing
is
that
     They
won
     and
     Love
lost
     (if there was ever a chance)

you
perhaps
     nor them
will
ever
know
    just
    how
Beautiful
      I
    Am

 
and each day since...

     I grieve
I miss you
and wish you
all
the
Joy
your beautiful Soul
     can hold
all the Joy
I felt for you

You are 
   so 
Special 
 to me
   
You cracked
  my
Heart
Open
and it Happily
  shattered
  for 
You
     for that
     I want
       to
     remember
      You

and when 
I've
Healed
and can respond
to your messages
           (which make me smile for a brief moment, and I remember you were mine 
            ...even a little)
perhaps
  I
can
hold you 
some
day
in person
one last time



I remain,

Lesléy

Hallelujah Heartist