Unrequited – I Hate (fallen is the Warrior)

I hate

I hate you for reducing me to nothing

I hate that I allowed it

I hate that I opened myself completely

To you

And you didn’t care

                       

I hate that I was weak for you

                        Unarmoured around you

                        I hate my vulnerability because of you

I hate it even now

I hate that I had faith

I don’t believe in anything anymore

                                                  

            I don’t believe in you

I hate that I’m feeling this way
            

You’re a phantom in my world

            A daydream

            An illusion

                        This is what you want

            And I hate it                       

But this feeling

           

            This fracture in my chest

                        Is real

                                    I hate that it’s happened

                                                Happening still

           

            I hate that I’m cracking open with love for you

I hate that I’m a Warrior of Love

I’ve come to nothing on the battlefield

You see me half-dead

                        Bleeding

                        Just fucking slay me already

So I can die again

            Cease this needing

And perhaps

                        When I wake

                       

I’ll be new

           

And I won’t remember you

                        Be moved by you

                                    Pay you any mind

                       

Or have any kind

                        Of love left

For someone who doesn’t love me in return

           

I remain,

Lesley