A Return to Self, Isis Speaks

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that Isis (www.birthwithcare.com) is my best friend, and Spirit sister.  

We’ve journeyed together and apart since we were eleven and twelve.  She is an August born Virgo; a beautiful perfectionist who has battled her mind and championed Self-Worth in her search for balance and decadent pleasure, striving to Be -  fully in her body.  Isis is a grounding force in my life.  Her energy moves through the earth breathing life into women’s issues as a Labour Doula, Yoga teacher who holds a degree in Psychology, mother, daughter, sister and wife.  To me, she is Goddess personified.

Her wish for humanity is my wish, her words of Self-Worth are my words, so today, Isis speaks…

What is your heart’s longing – really?  When is the last time you felt at home in your body?

Like many young women, I spent most of adolescence obsessing over my body.  I carefully controlled my food intake and exercised always with the intention to lose weight (Oh, as an aside – I weighed 105 lbs!).  I felt fat every day and scrutinized every inch of my body to determine if the lunch I ate had instantly made me fat.  Yes, it hurt, and the more it hurt, the more I obsessed and controlled.

I slowly began to reclaim every woman’s right to experience pleasure in her body.  How many of us were told not to be provocative?  I was, and consequently, I had to dance, breathe and move my way through feelings of shame, self-hatred and anger.  I experimented with yoga, dancing, writing, singing, drumming and I realized that when I was expressing myself, I felt FREE!   For that time, I felt beautiful and alive and if I kept doing it, the feeling continued.

I soon dedicated my life to listening to cues in my body that most people treat as nuisances or even ignore.  I listened and my body became my teacher.  Now, I can honestly say that I love myself.  My body is what it is – larger, rounder, but a downright beautiful embodiment of what it means to be a woman.

I have always been a super-achiever, or at least I was constantly trying to be a super-achiever, which is basically the same thing.  As women, we live in a world that values results over relationships, outcomes over process, intellect over heart.  We have come a long way and we have made tremendous contributions to the planet, yet many of us feel that we are only as good as our most recent achievement or compliment.  Every day, I speak to women who yearn for balance.  We don’t need to give up feeling powerful and stop achieving things, but we do want to feel balanced and whole.

Consider your homecoming.  Mine was the birth of my children – especially my second child.  Her birth went opposite to everything I thought it should, but it forced me to dig deep and understand my worth outside of a ‘successful’ birth.  Babies become our teachers from the moment they prepare to be born.  We learn to surrender.  We learn who we really are; if we can be open to letting the experience change us and we have good non-judgemental support. 

Learn to listen to your children with new ears.

Understand how you really feel about your life, daily interactions and your desires.

Learn to listen to your inner voice...and feel free in your body.

Thank you for reading, listening and Being,

Isis

Continued on Thursday September 1^st, 2011

Until then, I remain yours,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist