you are forgiven

READER DISCRETION ADVISED:  This entry contains cussing, anger and strong opinions.  If you choose to stop reading, I thank you for dropping in.         

On Twitter, Anne Rice, excellent American Author famous for her Vampire Chronicles, tweeted a link of an article from a CNN belief blog. 

The story is about Pope Benedict XVI extending authority to Madrid Priests allowing them to absolve the sin of abortion in women who wish it, thereby lifting their current status of excommunication for this sin.  The title made me angry.  I simmered through the entire article.  This obviously struck a chord in me.

Isis, my best friend whom I’ve known more than half my life, is a Labour Doula.  The topic of abortion has never been one we’ve discussed for very long.  It’s not that our personal views are opposing per say, but her primary role as a Doula is as a witness of Life.  We're best friends with contradicting roles on our journey; Isis is a witness of Life, while I am a witness of Death (more on this another time).  Because I love and support Isis, her passion is also my passion.  Consequently, I know a few things about birth and am aware of women’s issues from a Doula’s perspective. 

The reason I mention Isis, is so you know that while my temperament can be a little hot, the air blowing in this entry, isn’t.  It is of course, still, only my opinion.

As I read the article, certain phrases came to me instantly.  The first to echo in my head was, fuck you if you think I need absolving for having an abortion.  The second was, who the fuck are you to judge me, that you would absolve me?  The third being, why the fuck do these women care?

Regarding my first and second reactions: It’s about control and Power.

The church seems to think it’s about Life, it’s not.  It's about me.  If I decide to have an abortion, I will.  If I decide to have a baby, I will.  If I want to tattoo myself, get piercings – anything, it’s my choice to do so.  What makes you think you can decide anything for me, including having a baby?  Is it that you’re a priest who owns a cock and you therefore can only fuck and so this makes it okay?  You don’t have to worry about excommunication for the rape of children, women and fuck – man, because luckily you’re not a woman who can get pregnant, or the simple sinner who needs absolving.  This makes you naturally superior?   Hey, I just remembered something...Mary was the one who gave birth to Jesus, right?  Hmm, let’s extend this thought for a moment…if all birth is through woman, and Adam was the first man, doesn't that make God a woman?  So you, a man, offer me absolution?  Yeah, I don’t think so.

If my father impregnated me, the first fucking thing I would do is abort it.  Would I be happy about it?  No.  I’d be angry I was put in that position to begin with.  Would that stop me?  No.  In spiritual circles the general consensus is that the Spirit enters the body at the moment of the baby’s first breath, not conception.  The Spirit does occupy the growing foetus, merging its energetic code with the baby’s physical DNA.  Spirit moves in and out (on rare occasions, inhabits the foetus indefinitely).  This is theorectical of course.  Still, do you think I’d allow a child into the world that might eventually have to live with the knowledge that they are a rape-baby?  No. 

Zealots are out of their minds if they think they have any right to my body.  I’ve been sexually molested, don’t tell me what’s right or wrong because you holier-than-thou attitudes don’t know shit. 

Forgiveness has to do with Self-Love not self-hate, so don't try to guilt me.

Lastly, why do these women care?  I don’t think any right-minded individual enjoys taking life or participating in its subtle cruelty.  Do the words, ‘you are forgiven’ truly hold power even while uttered by man?  I rather a woman hear these words and heal herself of hate than let it eat away at her very Being.  Some people need to hear it.  I respect that.  

Do I wish these women felt whole in and of themselves despite their decision, whether regretful or not?  Yes.  I’d prefer these women realize how strong they are instead of how weak they feel, but I understand.  None of us are exempt; none of us have been strong every moment of our lives.  We all need someone to lean on, to tell us it'll be okay.  ‘You are forgiven’ can be just as strong as ‘I’m sorry’ even if we don’t agree with the reasons why.  If all this facilitates healing, then arrogance has achieved a useful purpose.

Continued on Monday August 22nd, 2011

Until then, I remain yours,

Lesley

Hallelujah Heartist